thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize