I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
