How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
