i just google imaged poop.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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