hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
