Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
