My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How does one acquire holy water?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
