with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
