she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
