Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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