Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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