before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
