C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
