yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
