she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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