I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
