I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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