Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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