I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
