hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
