very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
