when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
