New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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