You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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