Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
