I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
