Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize