Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
