I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
