I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
