i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
