Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
