my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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