You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
