my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
