Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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