I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
