remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
