Are we in a gay sports bar?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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