You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize