i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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