You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
