bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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