Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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