I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I will pee on everything he values.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
