I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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