u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
