chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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