Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
