I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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