man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
