When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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