HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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