you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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