Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
