how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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