i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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