Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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