would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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