Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
