Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
