Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
