I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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