I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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