Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
