it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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