can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
