Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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