Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
