I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
