glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
