I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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