Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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